Vin Diesel: Ghost of Christmas 4EVA!

  Charles Dickens, although generally respected, had one widely apparent flaw: he was unable to predict the future correctly. His classic tale The Christmas Carol has touched the masses, but very few that enlightened enough to know that the story was unfinished. So here's my open letter to Charles Dickens: Yo Charles Dickens, I diggin your book. U know I got mad respect for my boy Tiny Tim, but dat homie Scrooge be trippin. Wuts he got against bugs? Why he always yellin abou...


St. Nicholas Ninja

December snuck up on us like a knit ninja. You only barely glimpse that Christmas stealth, adorned in red and green bling, climbing down your chimney, eating all of your rice cookies, kissin' your mama. This is the face of holiday terror. So here is our friendly Freaker shopping-sword: All domestic orders made by December 19th will make it to your doorstep before Christmas!** **All packages are shipped within 24 hours of your order. Once they are out of our hands, it is the responsi...


The Golden ManChild

There comes a time in every man's life when you simply can't fit any more gold shit in your beard. Yesterday we had to give our condolences to Zach Crain for the death of his Gold-Shit-Beard Youth. There are two options at this point: write a eulogy that would make our eyes leak OR celebrate all the things you can do once you hit the point of no GoldShitBeard return. Celebration it is.


Behind the behive scenes!

Santa is not your dad. Santa is an octopus. Unless you are a baby octopus, you have been living a lie. When did mid-November get here? The widely accepted answer involves something to do with a space-time continuum, but the real answer is "two days ago when we started filming our Christmas commercial." Here's the behind the scenes look at what it feels like to have your office turn into a Holiday Bling Wonderland!


Freak Festivities!

 We'd like to share with you a little somethin somethin that we found in The Soapbox last night. Let us preface this with a statement: We have never been so honored to be hypothetically next to something. BAM BAM BAM BAM!!!!


Merry Freakin Christmas: A Bedtime Story

This is a Christmas story. It's about the search for knit truth in a dark world of sweaters and poorly-made beverage accessories.  Once upon a time in a land far far away, there was a Freaker family....   There was a Freaker papa and a Freaker mama and a Freaker manchild. They lived in the woods and even though they couldn't always dress themselves properly, they had a collection of holiday sweaters that would induce a panic-attack-of-joy in 1983.  One Decembe...


Smistmas Smarties!

We heard somewhere that real offices take all of their employees out and feed them and plow them with alcohol for Christmas. I think they call them "smoffice smistmas parties" or something like that. So we followed suit and last night we had our very first annual Freaker Christmas Party! It went smashingly, mainly because Alisha was wise enough to wear a wreath on her head.     She's our special festive delight!  The ladiez of the Castle (street) cuddled and snuggled...


Where to get yo' last minute freak on

Guess how many days until your stocking is expected to be stocked?! (We got this one wrong when we said "errr... couple weeks?")  Six! …Seis! …ستة ! …Sechs! …六! …छह! …Sei!! …шесть! …SIX!  If you are writhing in Christmas angst - Don't you fear! We have goodies for you!  1. We ship within 24 hours of each order, and same-day shipping for orders that come in before 2 pm! This means that if you live in North Carolina or someplace nearby, you will have Freakers o...


Local Showcase #3: Justin Lacy & The Swimming Machine

There is such an itty bitty space of time between now and Christmas and we've been showcasing local artists to help solve any confusion about who is AWESOME (community artists!) and who's NOT-AS-AWESOME (Goods made in big countries that aren't the USA!) Some of the past Local Showcases have included Edge of Urge - where to get that sparkly someone something finally sparkly enough - and Blueberry Fusion - the multimedia time capsule extraordinaries!  Today, we've found the cultu...


Box de' HandLove

We previously mentioned that along with odd polaroids of the Freakerteam lovin on you, we are currently shipping all of our holiday packages out in hand-screenprinted boxes. What does that mean for you? It means that we have labored into the wee hours of nights (all of the nights) sweetly caressing your boxes with tender love and care. And because of the way that physics works.... all of this touchy love directly transfers to you when you get your package. And then, if you're gi...


Hey, Ladiez.

In our series of awkward Polaroids, we bring to you our proudest Merry Christmas wish of all time.  Whatchu doin? Oh nothin chillen at the Happy Holidaze Inn.    For each Holiday pack you get (10 + up), we include personalized polaroids, infatuated love notes, and hand-screenprinted boxes. We thought about including strands of Zach's beard hairs, but decided against it, lest the post office starts getting suspicious. 


Showcasing Series #1: Local Fusion (and Blueberries!)

Christmas is sneaking up on us, ninja style.  All stealthy and clandestine, December 7th (that's today!) just reminded us of how badly we need a calendar.  Something else that we've been celebrating today is the fantastic caliber of local businesses.   It's overwhelming how much creativity and entrepreneurship the little special city of Wilmington contains, so we're going to start a series of showcasing (and shoecasing in some situations) the local flavors that makes the ...